i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
