Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
