Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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