Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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