I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
