my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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