Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
