That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
