Slut skills are useful in every country.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Who died my cat blue again?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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