Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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