but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize