I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize