so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
