I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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