We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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