the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, beer. Big fan.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
