you didnt know i had herpes?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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