There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
