I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
