What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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