You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He passed out mid-signature
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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