With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
