I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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