Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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