I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
two words...techno handjob
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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