i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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