I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
