Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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