Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
