I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
