yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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