You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
