I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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