you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
