i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
