No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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