Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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