spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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