hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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