So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize