i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
