Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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