Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
