i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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