well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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