i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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