He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
