She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
