Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
