sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
