toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Say something about gay babies.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
