someone get that fucking seahorse.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
