We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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