it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
