Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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