I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
