Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
