You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
