Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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