Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
