I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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