Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She bit a glass in half.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
