I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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