No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
