how can u be prego again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she pinky promised me she was 18
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
