OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
