garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
