He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
