I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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